Ph.D. University of California, Post-Doctoral Resarch Fellow:
UCI Medical, Dept. of Psychiatry and Human Behavior

My Mal-Adaptation to Extreme Liberalism in Graduate School.

THIS IS ABOUT LIBERALISM:  What it is, and Isn't--and How it Totally Wrecks Your Kids When They Go Off to Liberal Colleges--Which They Practically All Are


My post-doc chairman insisted alcoholics could learn to drink socially.  Alcoholic academics like me loved his theory so they wouldn't have to stop drinking--to the ruination of their life and derailment of their career...


When I left my sheltered existence in the family home and went away to school  I had no defenses and caved into the debauchery all around by drinking.  Also anorexia set in as a device MANY immature young women get caught up in to assuage emotional pain going from being sheltered in an orderly conservative environment to an extremely liberal, anything-goes milieu.  I was shocked, and I drank.  What a creepy atmosphere:  if you disagreed with the lascivious leftist professors they would taunt you and humiliate you publicly. My grant was from the National Institute of Mental Health [NIMH].  

                   "ONE IS TOO MANY AND 1000 NOT ENOUGH"

It was 1979 and after earning my Ph.D., E. Mansell Pattison was my post-doc chairman at the UCI Medical School Dept of Psychiatry and Human Behavior. He was a psychiatrist AND a pastor. I was on a postdoctoral research grant with NIMH. After  he wrote  the paper "ex gays: religiously mediated change in homosexuals" he died at only 56-- likely from a broken heart at all the flack he got for his "ex-gay" paper,  since UCI was the most LIBERAL of all universities--even UC Berkeley--and I wasn't prepared for it.

Dr. Pattison also wrote "non-abstinent drinking goals for alcoholics"--like many intellectual inebriants he didn't want to stop totally so  like other faculty elite he contended  alcoholics could learn to drink moderately. That's ok for them but the problem is many who they influenced  were sober and tried alcohol again--and died. This led into the Rand Study in which 200 skid row sober alcoholics were "taught" how to drink moderately--and they died! Well I disagreed with all this, taking an AA position of total abstinence and was fired and dis-funded: no more grant money. 

Dr. E. Mansell Pattison had HIS theories, HIS ideas and he wasn't about to adapt to what I thought!  I was outa the club, and couldn't pay for the penthouse or the Jaguar.  The last 33 years I've been clawing my way back up and that's ok, because I, like E. Mansell Pattison, was too weak to sustain against this liberal opposition and still have a bold breakthrough.  Despite the popularity of this theory with the faculty, alcoholics cannot drink and to say they can is insane and criminal since for them alcohol is lethal.  Alcoholism is a sin, a disease and an allergy whose symptom is CRAVING.  We crave what we are allergic to.  Did my postdoctoral sponsor cause the mass alcoholic relapse of the century--especially with academics?  I remember being belittled for my refusal to go along with this.  The one characteristic of alcoholism [and all addiction] is DENIAL--and thus the disease theory meets vituperation--let alone loss of grants/teaching positions.


Already weakened by being out of grace with God, Mansell then met his karmic fate by caving into the liberal vitriol and vituperation at his assertion that gays can go straight.  Being born in 1933 he had grown up in a friendly atmosphere so I am certain the lib haters turned his world black and it didn't help escaping to Georgia.  You write a paper like that and it's an indelible blotch--for this is  the generation of Newspeak:  People ARE they're behavior and cannot--and should not--change. Any suggestion of conversion they take to be an insult!  I've even seen this is bulimia forums-- we couldn't say it was "bad" since that would "offend".   But all sin works that way:  we all have two sides and through repentance can squash the one and uphold the other.  I thank God I've learned how to adapt to stress without doing myself in:  just take a walk, listen to music, look out the window, count your blessings.


Dr. Pattison also said hallucinogens enhanced religious experience and that solitude [social isolation] brought early death--two things I also disagreed with.  Solitude saved my life--perhaps he should have had more?  But then he wrote on the stages of dying--and promptly died.  I'm still trying to assemble all the pieces of this mystery, but the results of my indoctrination with these doctrines lasted years: for example I kept "trying" to drink moderately but only became worse and I searched for hallucigens to broaden my "religious experience".  I now see this as pharmacucia and the elite alcohol theory a refusal to stop.  He was a nice man and I'm sure he loved the Lord but watch out who you take your advice from. 


 Well it sure wasn't his fault:  by pure osmosis I soaked up--took on--the liberal atmosphere.  I lost all moral boundaries when accepting the new tolerance:  accepting the unacceptable.  I became a complete liberal and taught women's studies and abnormal psychology at Long Beach State.  I was very different--and popular.  But that didn't last long as my weak ego took over and drew malice.  A doctor--Dr. Shirk was this feminist's name--put me on anti-depressants:  seruntonum-reuptake-inbibitors. 


Because I hated the dulling affects I continued drinking with it, and lost my mind.  I went from the most popular teacher to a collapsed terrified idiot--and they flew paper airplanes at me.  I couldn't handle the class and as things spiraled downward emotionally it became really bad.  I had no idea the pills were making me so squirrelly-women actually think these are "happy pills". One day I drove all the way from Irvine to Tijuana--in my pajamas.  They stopped me at the border and my mother had to come and get me.  


That was just one incident but there were many--the residual effects of these big pharma drugs lasted decades even though I only took them for two weeks!   I was always guilty of erratic behavior, unexplained even by me.   [It wasn't until two years ago I discovered the MacDougal Diet--starch based, minimal fruit, no oils-fats-or animal--that these terrible drugs "went out" of the fat cells maintaining them].  And the reason is old drugs are stored in fat cells:  you must dis-fatten the cells to get to bliss, the original child state before accosted by chemicals and big pharma drugs.]

                           BULLISH DOMINATRICES

 I lost all identity and self-esteem.  I lost my teaching jobs and grants as this weirdness took over.  I entered the long dark tunnel that would last for over three decades.  I lost the penthouse and the dreams and went back home to the original system.  It was dysfunctional now that it had devolved from conservative to very liberal.   Not my parents but my two older sisters had been brainwashed when they went away to liberal universities like Stanford and University of Wisconsin.  It's not so much the person or my sisters but the Janet Napolitano archetype evoked when a feminine and charming female takes on the power-male image.  Tyrants.  They don't know how to handle power and they misuse it against those who disagree. When they came back they made my parents--upon the threat of rejection--into multi-culturalists and censured idiots accepting the need for therapy, anti-depressants and the immoral culture.

                                SEXIST FEMINISTS

The thing that was most telling about these two bullish dominatrices was their social manipulation.  It was always two against one--and this set up magnified as I became more conservative and outspoken against their views on things like abortion and these hellish drugs.  They ruined my reputation with anyone I or they met.  I should have stood firm with God in this matrix but instead collapsed into addictive coping devices like drinking and bulimia, I am ashamed to say today.  And thus I confirmed my inferiority in their gossiping eyes.  As I learned so well, one should not sin in response to problems but respond with poise and purity.  Both liberals and neo-cons use rejection to control thought and words.  If you go to a dinner they'll pre-warn you not to say certain things that would offend.  I love healthy debate based on history and evidence--they do not, it's all utopian slogans.


Liberals use the threat of rejection as a rudder to control relationships.  My one sister married an Indian Hindu--so to maintain relationship with her, my poor mother had to reverse her worldview and trivialize the American way of life--no more a Christian superpower.  Most importantly, we had to adapt to another religion as equal or even better than Christianity.  But in truth my parents had to accept the atheistic scientific view of an alcoholic biochemist who vivisected live animals and who even laughed about it over Thanksgiving dinner, trying to make me sick.  Because my mother had always kept things nice and decent, I suffered a terrified reaction and a broken heart.


I had never encountered the utter cruelty many other cultures have towards dogs.  My sister went along with him--what had happened to her heart?  I started to ask myself if God was dead?  Or that Christianity was not superior--the Hindu was?  He became rich and in this alcoholic atmosphere that meant superior--really?  You mean such cruelty to animals pays off?  It was a sickening time and our whole world turned upside down. When one accepts the unacceptable to be trendy or because it brings riches, they become the walking dead. My parent's Christian walk lost all fire and they too became alcoholics.  That's what happens when you accept lies:  The happy conservative orderly family life was gone as my elderly parents receded and the liberal harridans took over.  After what I went through adapting to  femi-Nazis always in cahoots makes me a little skittish around females lest they be sweet little ladies emulating the old paths--which are better--not some feminist cult based on slogans.


I took care of my parents until they died in the home.  Thank God that despite losing my grant I was able to serve that function since going to a rest home was their worst fear.  The femi-Nazis never acknowledged that--only that I was a complete failure by moving back home due to losing my NIMH grant.   I was too immature to take this and collapsed psychically, regressing to the self-esteem of a snail.  They even said I never earned my Ph.D. degree and the way I felt inside I even questioned myself. Massive Stockholm Syndrome set in where I needed their bloody approval. Decompensation [from Queen to snail] can be a very ugly and painful thing:  that what you thought was reality was NOT. Family rejection is hard to take and I'm it's happening all over this nation as we become more divided [balkanized].   That is the globalist's plan: to kill the family unit through degraded morals and multiculturalism.  Just because I love world music doesn't mean I'm a globalist for the various music comes from distinct cultures not an amorphous mass.


Hoping to find some peace I moved out to the Borrego desert.  Here we see old templates attracting like:  I was instantly interrupted by a group of boys taught in communitarianism.  They would not stop coming to my house and having never developed boundaries I was without tools to enforce my will and desire for solitude.  I fixed them tacos [just once] and they were hooked.  The way they saw things, what was mine was theirs--the communist spirit of entitlement prevailed as taught in the schools and I  was without tools to enforce my inalienable right to privacy, independence and property.

I escaped by getting a restraining order from everyone in the group and moving out of town  to an old house in "Old Borego".  Although just a shack it was a castle for I finally had SOLITUDE to write, think and explore with a mind free of interference--what a find!  If the only way I could live in the wilderness--out of the social names, games, fames--was to live in an old house, that would be fine.  I lived there 25 years and developed from the inside out.


I feel I'm at the beginning of the end of my journey.  I've overcome people, habits and food.  I enjoy every minute of the day--unless I have to leave home, that's a drag.  For my home is a magic cornucopia, hard-won after losing it to losers I let in.  Evil association is a sin and most times it comes from porous boundaries and a downed hedge of protection.  As a single woman I had a bull's-eye painted on me and I could never find any serenity and solitude: like an unintended magnet to men I was constantly being intruded upon. I couldn't keep them away and desperately wanted to be alone. And when my marriage went sour he stopped being my fence against the dense. I was thrown to the wolves via divorce and this generation of insulting intruders made me walk the plank.  An inherently conservative female--enjoying the rights to freedom, liberty, privacy and property--they were the modern amoral communist [what's yours is mine] groupthink tolerance newspeak and it was a hellish experience.  


Evil stepchildren ripped me off once too often and I had to develop boundaries or die.   I was amazed how fast a restraining order changed all my troubles and I never heard of the bad boys or girls again.  They're in their forties now and probably have no memory of how they tormented me.  Two went to prison for a long time, one lost all his teeth and went from beautiful to ugly and I'm not surprised.  For there is no sensitivity or empathy in this generation--it's all been trained out of them through communitarianism, Agenda 21--and the karma of sin destroys them shortly after the power-high of youth.  My step-son was found murdered in the street, my step-daughter died of meth at 35.  All due to alcoholism in their childhood and tolerance in the schools. Maintain privacy as your most important right. Do not conform to them for  approval, friendship or fear of rejection even if they ARE your own kids!  They are the sickeningly destructive results of Agenda 21 in the schools and they aren't accomplishing, they're just fools.


I couldn't believe what a social manipulator this one friend  was.  She knew everyone in town, I knew no one.  I am not social.  I am inward and universal but this woman really brought me down to the ground.  I became so terrified of her actions I did everything to keep her happy with me for her punishment was vile slander to anyone who would listen.  I found out later she even leaked my personal life out at Al-Anon meetings.   She was a feminist, a communist and new ager, interested in gardening and herbs.  She had everyone's approval, I had nobody's.  My life degraded for years, my career was derailed.  If you're a female I'm certain you share my interest in interactional politics and it's the main reason I love solitude in the wilderness.  This is all about cerebrotonia:  the desire to be alone when others desire social.  This makes you rare--perhaps a rare genius--and to get there you must overcome the resistances to privacy.  For groupthink wants you to be there's, not your's, and are jealous of your love of solitude.


I'm proud to be vegan: no animal, fats or oils.  I'm proud to be daily fastarian: one major meal a day and a couple fruit snacks. Knowing what and when to eat takes care of all of your problems, now just enjoy each day and be productive. I'm proud I've accomplished marriage:  the best fence against the dense.  That gives me total freedom to pursue my inner journey, uninterrupted.  The natural division of labor between male and female is wonderful:  it's like one plus one equals 20,000!   Marriage is denigrated but it is man's highest accomplishment other than finding God.  It is how we are meant to be.

We're leaving California for the beautiful Southwest red mountain country.   Having won THE RIGHT to personal [not social] reality, I'm rich: never lonely or bored.  I see the truth after feeling so isolated by 99% of hippie leftist Californians who are liberal zombies.   [They'll agree to anything and don't even care what they're signing.]   Years of desert solitude dissolved my sins--my coping devices--and I've lived like a monk as I  survived liberalism's garrulous groupthink: gabby and grabby.  Now my only worry is police brutality as the total tyranny from these beliefs takes over.


I have to forgive the boys if I expect people to forgive me for all my insanity.  It doesn't matter from whence it came--drugs, big pharma, wrong diet, alcohol, dysfunctional early family--we still must repent and face what it did to our associates and family.  We went into a dense fog--zombyism--and it was immoral and ruthless.  It's the plan of the globalists to destroy the family unit in order to make us wards of the state:  STATISTS [the state coming first not the family] and it starts with the creepy communitarianism taught in the schools.

Dr. Pattison wrote "Pastoral Psychology" and "Clinical Psychology & Religion" 1969 and died of heart cancer at  56.  A Christian "pastor" he was more of a psychiatrist converting homosexuals. His pastoral works seem dead despite a few bible verses-- he is merely so-called "scientific" all the way.  He was for psychedelic drug experiences to enhance religion and pursued the science of "speaking in tongues". (w a cultish offshoot).  He  was strongly opposed by homosexual groups who finally won the debate in 1980, since you rarely hear about homo-rescue anymore. I see him in error re: social drinking for alcoholics and psychedelics to enhance religious experience.    Matthew 18:6 "But whoever causes the downfall of one of these little ones who believe in me - It would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea". Forget the issue of speaking in tongues, the rest goes against God's will that alcoholics repent of their sin and we abstain from pharmacucia.  [Psychedelic experiences don't happen with marijuana]. This is sadistic science:  How many sober alcoholics picked it up again and died?  For it is lethal.   I'm not surprised he died so young, for the wages of sin is death.

I am intrigued by your take on Mansell Pattison--the creator of the GIANT MASS ALCOHOL RELAPSE of the century. Also his subtle advancement of hallucinogens. He was a Christian pastor, really? Why were't these people ever put in jail? It just shows how university academics can get away with any falsehood no matter how dangerous. Alcoholism is a fatal disease--FATAL, yet they were never brought up on charges? Don't people realize alcoholism is an addiction characterized by DENIAL? JNeggle M.D.

I am assuming Dr. Pattison was a social drinker with great responsibility and a reputation to maintain. The pressure ended in alcohol relief, a depressant. Guilt leads to hitting bottom but first he would have to admit he had a problem--a college professor falling off the pedestal? His solution was to write a book that continued drinking was scientifically legit--a way to be wildly popular with academics, giving positive feedback for his own continued drinking IMO. Not knowing his denomination, nevertheless any pastor advocating psychedelic drugs makes me think he tried them and that his experience was positive! But then under their influence was he really in his right mind and can we trust his writings? Regarding alcohol, the hippie creed of the time was "If it feels good, do it!" To attribute drugs to the worship of God is insulting to God. I have a friend who claims everything he does is influenced by the Holy Spirit, yet he invariably fails in business; in his personal life; and lately, in his friendship with me. God does not guarantee Christians success in life, and many Christians don't want to believe in Satan's influence. Whether God took his life at 56 because of this negative impact we will never know.

Was Mansell Pattison really a Christian pastor? I don't get how he could have said the things he did.

Randy, I am reading his book "The Experience of Dying"(1977) and ask the same question. The few scriptures he cites he treats as just other dry facts. He shows no Christian fire-- his book is totally secular with very few exceptions! No wonder Karen got sick in graduate school--she had to adapt to these contradictions and was caught in a double bind: damned but couldn't say she was damned. OA psych-pro wearing his Christian hat on Sundays and secular hat otherwise. He was a fence-sitter on drinking and drugs with the end result, in my opinion, that God took him out at an early age to minimize the damage he was doing with erroneous opinions treated as scientific facts.

I was alerted to this page when a friend searched Dr. Pattison. This page on Mansell really takes me back because i happened to be teaching at San Diego State in 1979 when the faculty became "interested" in this theory of drinking. I also remember that to mention otherwise--go along with the disease theory [that says not one drink or the disease takes over OR it goes into remission if no alcohol is taken] brought tremendous ridicule. I really think you have something here in your resurrection of this debate. We have not heard from it's ugly head in over thirty years--what made it go underground I wonder? Was it the combo of the ex-gay article? This is very interesting. Dr. R. Farrell, UCSD

Yes it was the "ex-gay" idea that did him in professionally, a sort of karma for tripping up millions of alcoholics to drink again. He died of heart cancer but the whole situation with Mansell Pattison seems odd to me. He was a Christian "pastor" indicating a right leaning conservative though his stance on drugs and alcohol works against that image. But from a liberal point of view he was OK on drugs and alcohol--but repulsive on his ex-gay ideas. In the liberal world there can be no deviation on any of their single sacred cows: They preach "tolerance" but are totally intolerant to opposition of their ideas.   Dr. Dougl-ass Chalmers was Karen's PhD chairman. Karen wrote up a $250,000 grant (NIAAA) that was awarded to both of them--but Karen saw none of it as he took it in his name. He died at 53 -- "the wages of sin". Karen did get a NIMH grant that would have supported her for ten years. Dr Pattison withdrew it because she was against social drinking for alcoholics. Between Chalmers and Pattison, Karen's career in academia came to a screeching halt. In academia it doesn't pay to shine too brightly: the glass ceiling for women at UCI was alive and well.  But this was many years ago and she has thrived in her desert solitude--far more than she would have stuck in cities and liberal universities--rather than hated for  Christian roots she evolved as a mystic poet in quiet solitude, unadulterated by the perversions of leftist  academia.

I am a victim of this whole terrible theory. My husband along with all his alcoholic boyfriends demand I agree with them that alcoholics can drink socially. they keep trying and losing. This is criminal and to think the guy was a drunk himself. And perhaps died of it. This is like Atkins pushing butter and bacon, and dying 60 wlbs overweight. I am so sick of academics whether leftists or neo-con, like this guy apparently was. And he was a pastor? What did he preach about? Kathy L.

Mansell Pattison's books on religion and psychiatry are all very dry and clinical, with "religion" treated as just another human psychosis. He did use the word "god" a few times but no mention of Jesus. As a "pastor" he was probably Unitarian or something similar for what he "preached" was sectarian psychobabble. I saw no indication that he had a personal relationship with God through Jesus the Christ. I don't like the "AA" and what it has devolved into. The disease theory is sound but what about dirty jokes, gossip and pickups? Academic addicts don't want to give it up but total abstention is a must. In order to fix any problem you must come out of denial about you and what it's doing to others. Just because your husband and his cronies outnumber and shout you down doesn't make them right.