AGELESS CORNUCOPIA
Elders Are Free to Talk and Enjoy as a Child: Sagacity is Elder Mysticism
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[KK Rhyme version bottom half of this page] This page is for the elders and all the young people who fear aging. Take joy--there is nothing to fear, only much to look forward to. As the brain expands in old age the temporal lobe opens up to eternity and ecstatic witness. End all fears--the future is only fullness with our culminating perfection at life’s end ( our highest blend).
It’s a sick culture that puts down the older generation through the glorification of youth. It’s not only unfair, it is false because old age is the culmination of life, a crown of glory and a time of heightened mental development. The temporal lobes burst open to reveal eternity, and thus eternal wisdom can only be gained from the mentorship of the elder. We should look forward with glee due to the facts you are about to see. Everything you have been told--every fear-laden myth you have swallowed whole--is false, for the elder is mentally superior in the sagacious jubilee. The time of life when physical powers wane mark the beginning of the magnification of mental powers. It is the fact that we don’t know this while simultaneously allowing a sick culture to tell us the opposite which creates the degeneration we see all around. An ageist culture is a sick culture.
VISION QUEST INTO ELDERHOOD
The Vision Quest is an ancient Shamanic rite of passage in which the seeker retreats from civilization, goes to a sacred place in nature and cries for a life vision of purpose. I took this Vision Quest twenty years ago by leaving society to live in a small desert cabin on 230 acres of wilderness. This was the happiest time of my life, in total solitude and natural beauty. I loved the seasons, the times of day and sharing this beauty with five dogs and a cat. I spent these years in solitude, fasting, prayer, meditation, writing, studying, biking, working in the yard and taking long walks. I entered an entirely new reality.
It was a transition from the old to the new life--an initiation into elderhood, or becoming a sage. By individuating into completion I was preparing early for elderhood but by previously clinging to youthful things I was avoiding completion, the thing I wanted most. It wasn’t until I saw elder mysticism—“eldering”--as an inner journey that I understood human aging as a wonderful culmination which should naturally get better until the very end.
SICK CULTURES HATE “OLD”
This culture shows a deep-seated fear and loathing of old age, which should be the greatest time of life. Due to the baby boom the elders are the fastest-growing segment of America with 76 million. The age wave is a tidal wave, yet it comes at a time when ageism is most intense. To offset ageism the boomers had better understand that aging is harvest time, the culmination of a lifetime of lessons and the true party. They should see aging as the badge of success it is, a time of unparalleled inner growth--for only at harvest time do we gain the panoramic vision essential to lead the tribe. Thus the elder is invaluable to the race, not a liability to it.
People enter old age with fear and trembling. Feeling betrayed by their bodies and defeated by life they expect to suffer from reduced enjoyment, vigor and usefulness. Their plight is made far worse by the trivialization and minimization by society and family—the signs are all around that they are obsolete, of no value. How sad and how false. The elders are wisdom-keepers for society’s well-being by opening up magnified intelligence transmitted as legacy. This joy crowns an elder’s life with worth and nobility. Have you ever noticed their uncanny psychic powers? They see through walls, they’re our wake-up calls! The notion of sage or elder should replace all negative images while giving us all something to look forward to. “Eldering” will release tremendous vitality and vigor into the peak of our life. It will be for me, as I see a life of work coming to its culmination and reward. For the mature, old age is the opposite to bored—for all through history it was the last phase when the saint’s spirit soared.
Aging is not the problem. The problem is the cultural images which tragically guide our lives into fear and panic. If we have models which are positive, healthy and active we can dramatically expand into a mysterious adventure as we go forward. Only this time of pure inner richness grows sages healers and prophets—it’s the most important time of life!
LESS MATTER, MORE SPIRIT
It is physical decline which awakens this elder consciousness of expanded powers. It is precisely the loss of one which elicits the other. Let’s explore this further, for consciously embracing aging early triggers the process of individuation and completion (eldering) while avoiding the pitfalls of later becoming “elderly.” The breakdown of the youthful body leads to the breakthrough of the elder’s higher consciousness. And so elderhood arises in the context of decline: When the psyche issues a call to engage in life completion, matter lessens to maximize energy and spirit. Less matter, more spirit! It’s the icing on the cake, the celebration, the party after a life of labor, pain and utterly being controlled by other people. Why? Because less is more!
In old age we heal relationships and our pasts, enjoy our achievements and leave a legacy. The elder can bless all the triumphs and tragedies he came through and re-frame the dreams, disappointments and betrayals into wisdom. The meaning of the play will now become clear in elderhood, the crowning achievement.
NO ROLE MODELS
The culture provides no models for aging, so we’re all uncomfortable with it. In contrast, “elder sagacity” or mysticism—eldering--rediscovers old age as an achievement to savor and enjoy. Postmenopausal women who feel invisible in a youthist culture will suddenly become radiant as they release deep-seated tensions. Rather than remorse over the past, the elder recontextualizes his past through panoramic vision, reframing past mistakes to “mine” them for wisdom. The result is a peace, and this is power! If we avoid distracting (and comparatively boring) worldly amusements and just contemplate we gain a peaceful goldmine of invention and wit as ageist stereotypes are replaced by a deja-vu of coming attractions.
We’re all so starved for models that even knowing an expanding elder infects us with enthusiasm. It’s like entering the senior year in excited anticipation of attaining the high values we all crave. Having grown beyond the drive for personal power, a deeper humanity emerges as harvesting and deep reflection gives us our place in the cosmos.
CLING TO YOUTH OR SELF-COMPLETION?
Having no models we either fall into depression and decline or strive to compete with youth. But if we view age as the gold summit, we feel something very special growing inside and nourish it to harvest the gold. We can’t stay hooked to rushing around and conquering. Women must drop youthful seduction to attain higher standards: the dignity of elder beauty—thus reclaiming the right to age without stigma!
When elders identify with early works or looks they end in conflict. The deep psyche urges us to harvest our lives, not obsess with the outer world. Staying stuck makes us prey to sadness, bitterness and defeat. Instead just enjoy this sacred stage: relax, listen to the inner voice, take naps! All our lives we conformed and catered to the convenience of other people, not the promptings of the inner life. Society completely ignores our bio-relationship to nature so grow up--go within. Living to the ebb and flow of this strong force is like ocean going through the veins--this is your own inner nature, so take the reins! First contemplate, then decide your new agenda for the last and greatest season of life—for the fine finale may even be flamboyant fame and fortune.
ACHIEVEMENT OK, ENJOYING NO-WAY
Our culture schools us on achieving, but not enjoying the fruits of our labor. We were never taught that enjoyment was enough. Instead it’s always more--more pleasure, travel, possessions or relationships. We need the help of mysticism to cultivate calmness and contentment, for this breaks attachments to the social persona in order to reclaim the True Self we abandoned to socially adapt. Aging is really a natural monastery stripping away these phony roles, attachments and pleasures and what emerges is a miraculous sense of discovery and new energy transcending “doing” in favor of “being.” These are the gifts of contemplative old age and I for one aim to enjoy this phase way before it hits. Fearing it is the pits for on this hard-won pinnacle wisdom sits.
YOUTH: NO TIME TO CONTEMPLATE
When young one is just too busy to cultivate this quiet inwardness spawning mystical experience. To please society youth must put the inner journey on hold, shirking contact with the sacred to master skills instead. Elderhood reconnects to the sacred and takes the universe back in. Rid of demanding and restrictive roles its like loosening a tight-fitting costume and slipping into cozy pajamas. I now see naps as the most productive thing I could do, for the higher brain is recharging. Having finally become individualized we are entitled to do our own thing without adapting to anyone else’s standards. What a wonderful period of life--only the rich can afford this life of leisure when young!
ELDERS MUST SPEAK OUT
Once whole the elder’s duty is to infuse the public with higher values, like telling the powers-that-be they should be ashamed behaving like children playing games of dominance. As world-mother you’ll see extraordinary things as people bow down showering you with gifts. That’s how starved they are for role models. As you transcend silly fears you’ll grow to full stature and speak out with greater authority. At your age you’re sure of your highest identity and beliefs--so speak publicly! Just hold your head up high and tell the simple truth, for to cower before youth is simply uncouth. Become a sage—they’ll line up to your booth.
As elders speak from the authority of the God-made True Self, something wonderful occurs. Listeners re-discover inner knowing--that heart knowledge that links them to nature and the world. As elders speak, armor drops and thus they maintain the consciousness of the whole tribe. When youth turns to the elder they are yearning for something more--that vast unexplored territory residing in a sage who is only now peaking in old age. When old we can create a destiny from choice, not expectations.
ELDERING IS TRUE SUCCESS
Elderhood is a great success. The sage is charged with the evolutionary task of guiding society--what a joy, we deserve it! You must inspire society to replace it’s shortsighted bottom-line mentality with the natural: spirit, nature and God. As sage-ing takes root in your heart you’ll see a glorious future awaiting you, no matter what your age. It’s when the physical fades that the fire alights from within until in our eighties we become most passionate, intense, flaming with a wild life beyond expression--a swelling clarity that expands into lives with passion and mystery. Our spirits will be questing, not resting. Our consciousness will grow, not slow. Elderhood is a quantum leap into the second life of spiritual realization.
LIFE STARTS AT SIXTY
Sixty plus is God’s gift to humanity. No need to compete and be “liked.” Un-caged energy releases into pure capacities restrained in youth. No time for trivia--we begin to create. Sages balance the inward ascetic with the outward human by expressing the True Spirit in the mundane world whose only hope is growing beyond the materialism which is only misery.
We are the culmination of a huge life process. If we unfold we open to incredibly higher being: the secret, mysterious, unique greatness of the True Self seeking expression. If in a nurturing environment with just God or other expanders we will experience a brain spurt linked to spirit. This happens in adolescence but emerging sexuality smothers it--then such a spurt into higher evolution is mistaken for libido and the spiritual is misplaced into sexual/social channels. The spiritual quest goes underground until now in elderhood.
MIND SHARPENS AS BODY DECLINES
Old age is a fascinating and exciting time of exploration, mysterious adventure and spiritual discovery. As the body gets tired the mind gets sharper. The challenge is to risk all frames of reference and outer props opening the mind to higher realms. Lifelong learning is the purpose of our species and when we stop we defeat the plan. Learning may peak in our late eighties when we contact a “giant spring” of skill, giving spectacular demonstrations, and the new habit of unlimited potential evokes new skills. With limitless possibilities we are open to constant surprise and anticipation--because of our age.
OTHER-DIRECTED LIFE WAS STRIFE
As you look back were you not lived by family, friends and fickle society? Were you not kept by jail-guards watching your every move? Did you not curtail your every natural expression, just to adapt? Did you not truncate parts of self just to fit in? What misery—I remember it well. Now we are self-directed flowering spirits in an inner search for God. By our detachment we promote a direct inner experience of Him and the divine. Conventional religion fills the need for social belonging but not necessarily contemplation and harvesting which reduces the ego as it opens the spirit. How different from the safe and secure social-religious identity--without access to the real depths people cling to religious brand-names, past fames and mind-games.
CELLS REJUVENATE
Through the inner journey cells are rejuvenated and aging is retarded. If operating as usual--in superficial, social and secular thinking--we speed up the aging of cells. But as we move to the silent transcendent, mental activity stops and cells revive. I can sure feel this change when relaxing after a stressful work or social situation. Solitude in silence brings this instant shift to the revelatory rewards of the right-brain. From too much “left” the elder must refrain, or become insane.
Those dismissed as “old” are actually agents of human evolution, for throughout history the elder symbolizes the unique flowering of humanity: a rare once-in-a-time event. In India the sage functions as father confessor and spiritual guide. These flowering sages have revelations and peak experiences we can all have when older: mystical perception, creative inspiration, scientific discovery, invention and extrasensory perception. Intuition is nonlinear, bringing together simultaneous fields in knowledge and perception—leaping way ahead of slow-moving logic by showing the “big picture” instead. This instantaneous knowing brings the contagion of joy, whereas everyday logic deadens like lead. Everyday man is concerned with what someone “said” while the psychic-intuitive sage gives them simple truth so they’re truly fed.
GREAT ARTISTS DO BEST AT 80
History shows many elders producing great works of beauty and science in later years. Frank Lloyd Wright did his greatest work at seventy, Picasso at 90. Freer air blows in later years--what joy and vitality when free of society (no more tears). The stakes are less, intimidating jailers are gone and there are new reserves in courage, wisdom and open fields of experiment. The creative life is far more possible later as intuition connects us to the natural environment: a much higher life, free of strife--the power of God’s wife. Yes God will support you with power and energy—if free of human society—for He knows you are physically weaker while having His work to do. More power is infused into a Majority of One because you’re not with crew. How to get to God’s power: become weak. Through you just let Him speak, for he always gives energy where needed (without leak).
ELDER BRAIN EXPANSION
The most primitive brain is the reptilian, dealing with basic survival--it is territorial and habit-driven. The next area is the limbic brain which relates us to the social world--it is rhythmic (hypnotic), ritualized activity hooking us to the herd. The third layer is the neocortex of intuition exploding suddenly into communion with God. It is the social world and habits (we use to distract us from aging) that prevents the opening of this marvelous goldmine.
The frontal lobes of the neocortex have highest intuition, creativity and a cornucopia of magnified perceptions awaiting the elder who opens to it. This interior universe is vast and infinite. Moreover, the temporal lobes of the neocortex are associated with paranormal and psychic experiences. But if you drag the past into the present you’ll be impervious to the fulfillment, vitality and pure delight of your increasing unfoldment. No matter what age the expanding elder faces the future optimistically. But if at eighty his consciousness is stuck at 40 he’ll stagnate and suffer a haunting despair. Be advised, for you see it all around—from their hearts and minds no sound, like their only hope is beneath the ground! There is no wisdom here, only confound. Their only thoughts are of the past, when big in town.
BOOMERS FIXATED BY YOUTH
That’s So Uncouth
Although baby boomers have grown through meditation, when it comes to aging they’re still fixated by youth culture. It’s to these peers that I speak: It’s so dangerous clinging to youthful things--it prevents the sagacity to lead the tribe and individuate, the whole meaning of eldering. Thanks to natural diet and exercise, boomers are the fastest-growing elder group in America and the over-sixties are growing twice as fast as the rest of the population. So become an enlightened sage when older, the esteemed member of your growing tribe! Talk to youth, but especially to peers—make them seers, banishing fears, drying their tears. Tell them: “Evolutionary aging balances physical decline with mental flowering and skills--as one recedes the other blossoms” and watch their reaction (awesome).
ELDERS ACROSS TIME AND SPACE
In America “old” is like being a leper. But in India “old” is an achievement of respect and recognition, as people cherish wrinkles and look forward to gray hair. Some exaggerate their age to gain greater respect, seeing old age as a time to detach from obligations and just ponder and enjoy. The Japanese see old age as a source of prestige with a national holiday called “honor the aged day.” Native Americans see elders as wisdom-keepers safeguarding tribal survival.
The Bible is lavish in praise of elders as gray hair is a crown of glory and wrinkles a mark of distinction. “Thou shall rise up and honor the face of the old man.” But the Greek world showed the gerontophobia (fear of age) from negative stereotypes that we see today. They valued youthful heroism, physical perfection and beauty--and aging was seen as a catastrophe and divine punishment. How myopic and tragic! Elder-status was raised in ancient Rome where their wise counsel carried great legal authority in the senate: “young men for action, old men for counsel.” Cicero wrote “old age is respectable when it asserts itself and is not enslaved to any one. I admire a young man with an old man in him, and an old one with a young man in him--the man old in body but never in mind.” To attain this state he must have “sound nutrition, exercise, sexual moderation and an active mental life of reflection.” The bible-based Puritans saw old age as a sign of God’s pleasure, divine election and a badge of supernatural sanctity. At New England town meetings it was not the rich but the elders who were given places of honor as repositories of knowledge and traditional values.
ELDERS ARE PATHFINDERS
Throughout history elders were the beloved pathfinders, luring us to old age in anticipation of powerful usefulness. Tribal elders made their imprint all through the Near East and Mediterranean cultures. To be called “old man” in ancient Israel was honored and wielded enormous religious and judicial power. To the ancients, old men were natural leaders using wisdom for problem-solving from the deep unconscious. The elders reveal our potentials—what can possibly be more important than that? With no models triggering these archetypal depths we are now lost in this world. Is it any wonder the degradation of morals, literacy and families—the utter hopelessness, drug addiction, divorces, fatherless homes? Society needs the elders to sustain it at its highest peak—the elders are the only check on certain degeneration.
TRADITIONAL AGING IS TRANSMITTING true CULTURE
In primitive societies elders withdrew from everyday life to just think and transmit highest culture. But now, sadly, this social identity is stripped away and lost through “retirement”. In literature we see the archetypal elder King Lear divested of power, living a wretched old age and descending into madness. Spiritual eldering provides the solution: an otherworldly celebrational spirituality, healing the split between spirit and matter and affirming sacred life—not the mundane, superficial, carnal materialism we see today. It’s the difference between a boldly flamboyant array and the horror of old folk’s homes (thinking that’s “ok”). It’s the difference between exciting life and optimistic anticipation of increasing unfoldment to the very end, and the terror of turning thirty—the current trend. Baby-boomers, unite! We are the majority so start the eldering revolution now—won’t you, my friends?
TRADITIONAL CULTURES LOVE THE OLD
All the world’s spiritual traditions have models of realized elders. The roshi in Zen, in Buddhism the lama, in Tibetan Buddhism the sheikh, in Islam the rebbe--all see aging as the phase of ultimate self-knowledge. For the Hindus, four ashramas map the changing spiritual needs of the human life cycle, culminating in the True Self and service to society. So the Indians think of life as a four-stage spiritual journey: Brahmacharya: gaining the intellectual and moral tools for adult life. Grihasta: marrying, having children, being social and working for wealth. Vanaprastha: detaching from family and social identity to pursue the spiritual. And in the final stage sannyasa one transcends all limited identification with family, religion, race and nation. As wondering single renunciates they become citizens of the world devoted to self-realization, spiritual teaching and selfless service to society. We can remain in family and community and still detach from social roles and deepen the contact with God. Do it and receive love from a nation famished for elder models!
THE INNER JOURNEY OF ELDERING
Today we see the ageism of ancient Greece, every bit as offensive and dangerous as racism and sexism. It discourages the elder influence, so like any downtrodden group they sequester into retirement communities to commiserate together and strengthen their shoddy identity. The movement called “successful aging” sees the solution in physical health but leaves out the spiritual altogether: In a one-sided drive to alter, reverse or control the aging process it just impoverishes it more by trying to “restore youth” rather than appreciating aging as a wonderfully superior stage of the human experience. The only solution is the inner journey! Go inside, ride the tide and become cosmic, bonafide.
IT SHOULD BE EASY
Not Make Us Queasy
Because we are not contemplative in our productive years, many face a painful abyss in unstructured retirement. Let’s see retirement as the Indians do: a spiritual vocation while being on vacation--something prepared for in middle age by becoming contemplative, artistic, studious, sensitive and gentle. Seek this and you’ll be supported from both our own depths and on high. As we detach from social and professional identities the whole universe rushes in to support our “No” answers while “Yes” brings relapse into old ruts. By doing inner work when young we won’t disorient or panic when outer props go later, and thank God they do! For we’re brand new--past props can’t enter the stew. This wonderful apex must remain true, fearlessly and powerfully with God through-and-through. Does this not thrill you too?
HARVESTING IS WONDERFUL
In traditional cultures harvesting a life in old age is easy, but in ours it is painfully difficult. Harvesting means: gathering the fruits of a life and enjoying them. It can be from within as quiet self-appreciation or without through honor, respect and recognition. But without eldering consciousness our own gerontophobia destroys the harvest. The cure-all is to exchange secular for sacred power—making us shamans, healers and priests. In the new context of aging, elders have a wild almost prankster-like quality which sees the humor in all situations. Like Buddha they laugh at everything they see or think! This new reality is like going from shabby cotton to mink, but only if elders are respected (not rejected) do they stay in the pink.
ELDERING IS COSMIC TRANSFORMATION
Carl Jung developed elder psychology in terms of individuation, the process of becoming the complete human being of our destiny. In the afternoon we can’t live by morning’s program but rather turn inward to reconnect with the self which was silenced by our social slots or slovenly sins. This revealed cosmic being is our personal center speaking through dreams, visions and images. A human being would not grow to 70 or eighty if longevity had no meaning for the species--later life has great significance of its own, not merely a pitiful appendage. Whoever carries youth into old age pays through soul-damage, for spirituality must take precedence when energy wanes and friends and family are lost. It’s the spiritual outlook cure—so make the grandkids call you ma’m and sir! And never envy youth (the false lure) for despite the glorified image there is much trouble there (in this evil age it’s often impure). You are much better off here, in the radiant cosmic elder tour.
LIFE IS EIGHT TURNING POINTS
Erik Erikson saw life as a sequence of eight turning points which can turn to good or bad results. Resolving each step leads to new growth and maturity while failure at any point ends in neurosis and stunted growth at that level. In the final stage of ego integrity vs. despair, completion and self-acceptance is achieved—and it is this which offsets the physical decline. Wisdom is the acceptance of our one and only life as something which had to be by necessity and permitted no substitutions. And to think we spent our lives in shame and self-doubt for the very destiny that had to be! Acceptance without shame makes us handsome, ageless blueprints made by God, while shame and guilt makes us aging deformities—a clod.
FAIRY TALES AND ARCHETYPES
Fairy tales give insights into youth and elder psychology, reflecting the different concerns of the emerging growing personality: separating from parents, struggling for world placement, making commitments to spouse and career. The elder tales symbolize the tasks of the second half of life: not growing old but of growing through transcendence and knowledge of self and God. Elder tales begin with the old man in isolation and barrenness. Then by miracle he rediscovers the magic: by accepting his losses of family, friends, fickle society and it’s “fun” he is transformed as he confronts issues repressed since youth--the dark unknown side called the shadow. As he breaks free of society and faces this shadow he gains “emancipated innocence.” He comes together whole an ageless child--by having faced what he had always denied and by detaching from the chaos of the social world. As the age wave continues we elders must put the spiritual central to our lives. To not do so is like being cut with knives for the messages are everywhere that we are obsolete, of no value—a fiction, a pack of lies! But spiritually we are the highest achievement, essential, transcendent—as high as the skies. The cosmic elder is way beyond cries, since he know his source--it’s eternity and heaven he sees with his eyes.
THANATOS: FACING DEATH BRINGS LIFE
It is the presence of death which deepens our appreciation of life and prepares us for harvesting. The more we embrace mortality as a call to life completion the more anxiety turns to awe, thanksgiving and appreciation. People facing death end their days in zest and joy. All through life they spent energy avoiding reminders of mortality, but this very avoidance saps vitality and hope. All experience of life loses clarity and depth in this denial, which hurts: There’s always a free-floating anxiety unsuccessfully drowned out through frenetic activity, entertainment, conquests or obsession with youth. Having de-repressed the fear of death that energy is now released and reclaimed. Wow! Now we feel buoyed up as streams of creative energy courses through the body, mind and nervous system. By facing what usually depressed and terrified we feel lighter, freer and more alive as a shift in attention makes us aware of how precious life is. Then we can accept ourselves, love and lose the anxiety making us grasp at power, wealth and fame to feel confirmed. Then we can truly see the immaturity of youth (often so uncouth). And to think we wanted to be like them or that we actually tried to get their approval! When we face death even a wonderful humor emerges. What a relief transcending the boring, mundane, material world of flesh and games and overnight gained-and-lost fames and flames! We come in and go out alone and everyone else is now irrelevant.
FREUD: SEX (STRIVING) OR DEATH (SILENCE)
Freud saw two forces driving the human experience: libido the life instinct and thanatos the death instinct. Life is a ceaseless struggle between these two forces. Libido surges with vitality, seeking pleasure and experience while thanatos longs for silence devoid of all striving and conflict. Libido yearns for sex and creative activity while thanatos drives for death and the cessation of all activity. Freud’s view ignores the spiritual for his thanatos is seen as the psyche’s bleakest force especially since our culture denies death. It’s a serious split since our bodies know about dying and at one point are totally committed to it and yet the culture abhors and avoids it. It deals comfortably with libido expansion and achievement yet panics at contraction, silence and inwardness--the domain of thanatos. Eldering work--the inner journey--embraces and ennobles the death instinct removing its mask and welcoming it’s guidance to a much larger life—the comfortable happy existence of mere contemplation and relaxation. Thanatos is the messenger of transcendent love and wisdom—this is God. But how could a culture hating death and aging ever accept the inward life of the saint and mystic? It cannot—it makes it impossible.
DEATH IS THE MYSTIC
Thanatos is synonymous with the ego transcendence and enlightenment portrayed by Hindus. Yogis break attachment with desire to attain samahi--a totally suspended transcendent state of thanatos. Sufis practice fana, a blissful state of non-self. Buddhists enter nirvana, a desireless state of silence. They all teach there is a natural inborn reflex to seek quiescence as a balance to outgoing energy. Centrifugal complements the centripetal energies. Thanato’s inward force brings self-actualization and completion. We are detached from the more indiscriminate social world to extreme selection in relationships and projects attuned to this emerging self: a time to rest and reflect, a time to act and decide, a time to become inspired, a time for creative action and (most importantly)--a time to be very careful in choosing associates (not less careful because you’re lonely). Libido and thanatos are bipolar electrical forces with two settings: on/off, life/death, activity/rest. When we are young we make a mark on the world. When we grow old we gradually experience less energy and seek inwardness. The “off” switch is exactly what brings the completion, contemplation and carefully selected actions and friends--all stamped with the seal of growing uniqueness. The OFF is what makes us energetic, attractive, glowing cheekbone-carved older specimens that the younger generation is so grateful for, looks up to and tries to emulate. The ON is what makes us embarrassing caricatures—baby Janes bringing ridicule and rejection—plastic surgery’s election, a lost affection, a useless dusty antique collection.
THANATOS IS INDIVIDUATION
Thanatos is the urge to individuate--cutting loose everything in the second half of life. Aging people should know they are no longer conquering and expanding but inexorably contracting. For youth, self-preoccupation is a dangerous sin but for an elder it is a necessary duty! Thanatos creates contemplation by limiting libidinal activity. It replaces quantity for quality of experience by insisting we deepen our awareness when we can’t expand or conquer any more. But modern drugs like Viagra prevents this natural joyful inwardness--with age libido should shift from sex to mentoring and harvesting and other ways to generate like preserving a legacy through writing and teaching. We are now passing on wisdom, not propagating the species.
THANATOS MEANS COMPLETION, NOT DEATH
Libido is the instinct to begin, while ignoring meaning and wisdom. It’s only interested in self’s experience--exerting and establishing self in the world. As libido sows seeds, thanatos collects them and brings them as fruits to the harvest. As it’s more interested in closure and meaning thanatos is the completing instinct. Only by facing my death could my books come out for thanatos does not always seek physical death but acts as a magnet drawing together and arranging patterns of meaning from our lives. This may mean death or completion of a life’s work with decades left to enjoy the bounty coming from it.
When thanatos first appears we panic---exercise madly to compete with youth, redouble our work to prove our worth or have cosmetic surgery--anything but come to terms with thanatos which destroys youth’s idols. When mid-life dissatisfaction appears this is thanatos. Having no training for it we mistake the cue-to-completion as a call to death. Not so—the opposite is true: Thanatos marks the appearance of the enlightened self behind the social persona. If we accept it we simply start spending more good time with loved ones, take long walks in nature, play good music and just ponder while looking out the window to the mountain vistas and starlit skies at night. As for me I’m looking forward to old age—it ends the fight, solves the blight, means I’m finally right and higher than a kite. Baby-boomers unite!
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ELDER
Ageless Cornucopia in Verse
With age people fall into depression, compete with youth or hit the vermouth. How uncouth, for it's not based on truth. If you see age as the apex of life, you'll start harvesting gold. No more rushing or conquering but much higher standards—the dignity of elder beauty. It's our duty (even if fruity). Resting on youthful laurels breeds conflict—it’s time to harvest the inner not obsess with the outer. It’s so much fun ending the run but staying stuck is running amuck. We should enjoy this sacred stage, listen to the inner voice and take naps (not to prevent collapse but to illumine new maps).
In youth we catered to the convenience of crazy cronies but now we’re really alive, no more jive. Enjoy your new bio-relationship with nature: grow up—go within, it's your most exciting time (no "has-been"). It’s a prelude to heaven when we’ll enjoy such bliss again. We’re getting ready, for life is just a shabby porch to a magnificent mansion—a mass of trials before the smiles. To live in the flow of this powerful force is like ocean going through the veins--this is your inner nature: you’ve finally got the reins. The worldly no-brains put you in chains (constant rains) but now you can really explain and that's what trains (will be your remains). To enable this power just contemplate in readiness for the fine finale of flamboyant fame and true fortune.
CLING TO YOUTH, OR SELF-COMPLETION?
Wouldn't you rather teach, then be taught? This is eldership, the stage we avoid in fear of the “void”--for we think getting old cannot be enjoyed. It’s these feelings and fears with which society has toyed. For although it feels good to take control, due to age-phobia that's the stage we skip--until we die, a silly collapsed ship. If you're an elder stuck in adolescence now's the time to find your essence. The youthist culture is outrageous in its down-putting of the elder who is sagacious. Due to youthism many sin (to bad they turn) when it's really True Selfhood--sagacity--for which they yearn. This chapter is for the elders and youth who fear aging. Take joy--there is nothing to fear only much to anticipate as your culminating perfection leads the tribe through elder mysticism.
FOR THE SUPERIOR MAN: YOU NEED CHARACTER
There are two ways to age: one like
the herd and one like the sage
It’s a sick culture that disdains aging and glorifies youth, for old age is the culmination of life and a crown of glory as the brain opens to eternity--and thus eternal wisdom comes only from elders. Out of this brain spurt comes our genius trait yet the culture sees it as third-rate (mean fate). You should look forward with glee for the facts you're about to see, for eldering is a sagacious jubilee. This later phase when the physical wanes is precisely when the mental magnifies. Just as one is inexorably contracting the mind is ever-expanding. It's the cultural view of age which creates it as a bad stage, like waiting for the end in a cage. But now we're on the right page as with 76 million baby boomers it’s becoming a world rage.
VISION QUEST : ELDERHOOD
The Vision Quest is a retreat to nature for a vision of life’s purpose. I did this 20 years ago, leaving civilization for a desert cabin in total solitude and natural beauty. These years have been my happiest of my life for free of all distractions I could just love the seasons, the times of day, and sharing such beauty with four dogs and a cat. I have spent these years in fasting, prayer, meditation, writing and walking while entering an entirely new reality--eldering, or becoming a sage. At a young age I escaped the cage, and having lost the fear of aging I love this stage. By clinging to youthful things I was avoiding completion (what I wanted most) but by opening to elder mysticism I saw it just gets better until the end. I feel five, enjoying each moment as a child (no more strive). After a life of stress I feel so mild--having overcome the ageist traps, life is wild: Transcending culture, what a relief--spending days floating like a leaf! I look forward to tomorrow for if the past is gone, no more sorrow. To hanker over youth with such clarity to enjoy is missing out on elder sagacity to employ. I anticipate more as it just gets better, this ever-changing phantasmagoria of the elder. No drug could duplicate this joy, the elder’s magic reality toy. But I’m not going to wish my life away—it’s too good to miss, this fantastic day. Did I appreciate life when young? Not at all—it took years of pain before enjoying this fun.
SICK CULTURES HATE “OLD”
Elders number 76 million just when cruel ageism is most intense. After reading this chapter I hope the boomers see aging as harvest time, the culmination of life’s lessons, the true party and the badge of success it is--a tremendous brain spurt of panoramic vision essential to lead the tribe. The elder is invaluable to the race--not a liability to it--but people enter old age with fear and trembling. Feeling betrayed by their bodies and defeated by life they expect to suffer and feel useless, minimized by society and family. How sad and false, for elders are the wisdom-keepers through magnified intelligence crowned with worth and nobility. Have you not noticed their uncanny psychic powers? They see through walls, they’re our wake-up calls. The notion of " sage" releases vivacious vitality and vigor as we see our life’s work coming to its culmination and reward. For the sage, old age is the opposite to bored. For all through history it was in this last phase that the saint’s spirit soared. Aging isn't the problem. It’s the cultural images which guide us into panic! So we should acclaim this mysterious adventure growing sages, healers and prophets. The enlightened elder sees this life as a mere porch opening to heaven, so we have much to anticipate, don’t you agree? The elder enters a magic land and it’s all for free.
LESS MATTER, MORE SPIRIT
It is physical decline which triggers brain expansion (enlightened sagacity) and knowing this should remove the pitfalls of becoming "elderly." The breakdown of youth brings the breakthrough of sagacious majesty as matter lessens to maximize energy and spirit. Less matter, more spirit. It’s the icing on the cake--the celebration, the true party after a life of labor, pain and utterly being controlled by other people. It's a time to heal relationships and our pasts, enjoy our achievements and leave a legacy. No matter what happened the elder can now bless his past (tragedy or triumph) and mine it for wisdom. The meaning of the play will now become clear--so no more fear, you’re becoming a seer. The culture provides few models for "elder mysticism" but sagacity is as an achievement to enjoy. Older women feeling obsolete (invisible) in youth culture become radiant as they review the past through panoramic vision—mining their (many massive) mistakes for wisdom. The result is peace and power, so cut distractions and just start contemplating—can you stop everything and just enjoy this hour? Soon you'll become a goldmine of invention and wit--it's so good you'll never quit. To all around you're a perfect fit for you're at the top of your game (as good as it gets). You're a hit (not the pits) for in you wisdom sits. Ignore the sick culture who on you spits (wanting to commit) for you're more than legit. Now just speak out--no need for permits--and to God submit so through you He can transmit. People are so starved for models you'll infect them with joy (well-lit) to find their place in the cosmos (close-knit).
LESS IS MORE
Show “More” Out the Door
In the west we’re taught to achieve not merely enjoy. Youth sees more as more--more pleasure, possessions or relationships--but mysticism is less but more: calm contentment, dissolving the image to reclaim the true self we hid to socially adapt. How trapped: having to maintain an image the self was slapped, sagacity untapped, brain growth capped--but now it's unwrapped for all to see, and glory be! It's truly being free--for aging is a natural monastery stripping away phony roles and the result is the jubilance of “being” rather than “doing”. You'll be cooing for sagacious mysticism is fantastic--so look forward before it hits. Fearing it is the pits for on this hard-won pinnacle wisdom sits. Youth is too busy for mysticism—pleasing society means shirking the sacred to master skills instead. But once you look ahead, such competition you will dread. It was from all that I fled (to enjoy the panoramic spread) for to me city life and youthful lusts were worse than being dead. Sagacious eldering reconnects to the sacred by banishing these loud, glittering distractions and demanding roles--its like loosening a tight costume and slipping into cozy pajamas (high goals: no controls). Naps are most productive for the higher brain is recharging to do it's own thing like being king--if to youth we no cling. If it's with destiny you have your fling your words are truth that rings as natural as a bird sings. To our steps, a spring--life's end is like spring. Only the rich can afford this leisure when young (getting old is our highest zing).
ELDERS MUST SPEAK OUT
The sage’s duty is to infuse higher values into the public like castigating childish power games. As world-parent they'll shower you with gifts for giving them lifts. Youth tends over cliffs (too swift with attention-shifts) so show them you're not stiffs: speak out with authority (more with time, even in a rhyme). At your age you’re sure of your beliefs so hold your head up high and tell the simple truth. To cower before youth is just uncouth but as a sage they’ll line to your booth. Link listeners through the heart—they’ll open to nature and the cosmos, for a start. As elders speak, armor drops—and the result is tribal consciousness (feeling on top), the end of energy drain (stop), the overcoming of foes (plop) and the gaining of riches (a crop). Or would you rather die before death (flop)? The vast territory in the sage peaks in age so people will gain if with you they engage. What a high wage for the elder is the gauge. When old we create our destiny from choice, not people's silly expectations. What joy--we deserve it, for as the physical fades the fire alights until the eighties are the most passionate and mysterious. It makes me delirious--so happy, yet serious. When I remember my youth I think of controllers so imperious and wrong living deleterious. I must confess I was a mess: prone to excess, to people-obsess, to angrily express yet with a desire to impress (so filled with stress I lacked finesse). But I digress--now I have noblesse (true success) with a new address: God's caress. He doesn't press--He just wants to bless.
Sixty plus is God’s gift to humanity because one doesn't try (compete) to be “liked”. Un-caged energy becomes pure brilliance: no time for trivia, we begin to create. Sages bring great relief by disdaining miserable materialism in pursuit of the mysterious inner world. This brain spurt occurs in adolescence but then is blocked by social/sexuality--the spiritual was submerged until now as the sharpened mind begins to explore with excited fascination. The risk of this higher opening, of course, is losing outer props—good, for they’re all wet mops. Lifelong learning peaking at ninety is our species purpose--we can either look forward with glee or stop (stagnate) with depression or a drinking spree. It is releasing our hold on society which contacts this giant spring bringing skillful demonstrations which in turn evoke new skills. Are you ready for these thrills, feeling limitless because of your age? It just gives me chills as I look out to the valleys and hills. I won't take alcohol, drugs or pills--for the elder that kills.
As you look back were you not lived by family, friends and fickle society? I was, and it was a miserable existence—I thought I’d go mad: always feeling had, thinking people were bad. Did you feel kept by jail-guards watching your every move? Did you not curtail every natural expression just to fill their groove? In having something to prove it's God who was removed but now sagacious I've more than improved and so to you--the boomer--I behoove to reflect on this matter: Did you not truncate parts of self just to fit in? What misery—I remember it well. Detachment is pure relief for gone forever is the energy-thief. I thank God the past is over. But many elders feeling empty join "safe and secure" social hall religion. Rather than mere contemplation they're still seeking identity, preventing true serenity. Ageism is obscenity (treating the aged as non-entity) so they "join" seeking amenity. They cramp life with time schedules, bragging that "to rest is to rust". But for elder mystics rest is a must. Sagacity won't alight by rushing and clinging to religious brand-names, past fames and mind-games—the maimed brain goes lame.
CELLS REJUVENATE
Sagacious solitude rejuvenates cells and retards aging while the silly superficial social slot speeds it all up. As we move to the silent transcendent, stress stops and cells revive. I can feel this change when relaxing after work—silent solitude is an instantaneous shift to the revelatory right-brain. From too much “left” the elder must refrain or go insane. Elder mystics are unique human flowerings--rare, once-in-a-time events. In India this sage is guide and confessor, manifesting the peak experiences open to us all: mystical creativity, science discovery, invention. His intuition integrates all fields in the “big picture” (leaping way ahead of slow-moving logic). Panoramic vision is the contagion of joy while left-brain logic deadens like lead: portraying what someone “said” rather than the simple truth instead (truly being fed).
Historically elders did their best work late in life: Frank Lloyd Wright did his best at seventy, Picasso at 90. Freer air blows in later years—that’s joy and vitality when free of society (no more tears). The stakes are less and intimidating jailers are gone so up comes the new reserves of courage, wisdom and experiment (the dawn). Now it’s all possible: the creative life free of strife as God’s wife. Our weakness attracts His strength--for He knows we’re weak while having His work to do (more power He infuses because we're without crew). How to get to God’s power: become weak--through you, just let Him speak. He gives energy where needed without leak.
ELDER BRAIN EXPANSION
The primitive reptile brain is for survival--it is territorial and habit-driven. The next area is the limbic relating us to the social world--it is rhythmic (hypnotic) and ritualized. The third layer is the neocortex of divine intuition—a marvelous goldmine, and the frontal lobes of the neocortex are the highest: a vast and infinite cornucopia of magnified perceptions just waiting for the elder to open it. God has spoken it, so nurture these paranormal (psychic) experiences. If you drag the past into the present you’ll be impervious: if you're eighty stuck at 40 your stagnation will haunt with despair. You see it all around: from their hearts and minds, no sound (like their only hope is beneath the ground). There is no wisdom here. only confound. Their only thoughts are of the past, when big in town (the human pound). Thanks to health fads boomers are the fastest growing group but despite their “meditation” they aren’t saging but still fixated with youth. It’s the Howard Sterns phenomenon: men pushing sixty acting silly, chasing the pixy and other things risky. To my prideful peers I speak: It’s dangerous clinging to youthful things--wouldn't you rather lead the tribe, so their soul sings? Grow up (go within) then talk to peers—make them seers, banish their fears, dry their tears. Tell them: “ As the body declines, the mental fills with skills. As one recedes, the other blossoms.” This will be your greatest moment (it’ll just be awesome).
ELDERS ACROSS TIME AND SPACE
In America the word “old” is like “leper”. But in Japan or India, “old” is a recognized achievement: Cherishing wrinkles and gray hair men exaggerate their age to gain respect, as old age is the time to detach from obligations and just ponder and enjoy. In the bible elders are praised, as gray hair is a crown of glory and wrinkles a distinction. But the Greeks were gerontophobic (like us)--adoring youthful heroism, body perfection and beauty while viewing old age as catastrophic. Elder-status was raised in Rome where aged sagacity had legal authority in the senate: “young men for action, old men for counsel.” Cicero wrote “old age is respectable only when it asserts itself, not enslaved to anyone: old in body but never in mind.” The Puritans saw age as God’s pleasure--it wasn’t the rich but the elders who had the front row in town meetings. To the Indians elders were wisdom-keepers ensuring the tribe’s survival. Boomers: I’d say we need a revival. Try it: give up uncouth youth and just marvel--though they’ll think you’ve lost your marble you’ll be without rival.
TRADITIONAL ELDERS ARE PATHFINDERS
All through history elders were pathfinders. In all traditional cultures they were powerfully useful: The Roshi in Zen Buddhism, the lama in Tibetan Buddhism, the Heikh in Islam, the Rebbe in Hasidic Judaism. The “old man” in ancient Israel had enormous power as leader and problem-solver through dreams and visions. The sage reveals our potentials—what’s more important than that? For without models we're lost in this world. Is it any wonder the degradation of morals, literacy and families—the utter hopelessness, drug addiction, divorces, fatherless homes? Society needs the elders to sustain its peak lest youth become freak. That's why elders always withdrew from life to just think and transmit highest culture. But now that this is flipped, in wretched idiocy we're gripped for without elder-input life is crypt and society has slipped. Like King Lear who lost all his power and fell into wretched madness, this fairy tale reflects in the west. We’re no longer best, we lack zest, we need therapists (confess), we're stressed without rest (from useless quests), men leave the nest, people lack manners (pests), they're poorly dressed and insult (called "jest") from what’s on their chest, women solve problems by enlarging their breast. It's insane, so much pain--all because elders no longer reign. Spiritual eldering--an otherworldly sacred life healing neurosis--is the solution, not today’s boring superficial pollution. It’s the difference between a flamboyant array, and the horror of retirement homes (thinking that’s ok). It’s the contrast between excited anticipation to the very end and the terror of turning thirty—the current trend. Enter saga-city and ascend, start the revival and mend!
LIFE STAGES IS ESCAPING CAGES
The Hindus see life as a four-stage spiritual journey: Brahmacharya: gaining tools for adult life. Grihasta: starting families and gaining wealth. Vanaprastha: detaching from family/social identity to pursue the spiritual, and Sannyasa: transcending even limited identification with family, religion, race and nation. As wondering “world citizens” the end is spiritual self-realization and selfless service to society. Without going that far, just detaching from social roles (the greatest tolls) enables higher goals--to provide models of sagacious souls. Ageism--as offensive as racism—sequesters elders into communities to commiserate together. Not knowing of the magically fantastic inner journey, retirement is desolate rather than a happy spiritual vocation while being on vacation. The “successful aging” movement encourages physical health but leaves out the spiritual altogether: In trying to reverse or “restore youth” it just impoverishes the happy journey--and what a pity. Youth should prepare for sagacity by becoming contemplative, artistic, studious, sensitive and gentle. As we detach God rushes forth to support this sensual soul-searching solitude: By journeying inward when young, we don’t panic when outer props go later--and thank God they do. For now that we are new past props can’t enter the stew. This wonderful culmination must be true—fearlessly, and powerfully with God, through-and-through. Does this not thrill you, too?
VOCATION: BEING ON VACATION
Societal Individuation is a Happy Situation
Aging used to be easy but now it's painfully difficult. Harvesting means: gathering the fruits of a long life and enjoying them, either from within or without through respect and honor. We are now sages, shamans, healers, priests or even pranksters--seeing humor in all situations. Like Buddha, we laugh at everything we see and think--it's like going from shabby cotton to mink. But in youthist cultures elders are pushed to the brink so here is your link: If elders are respected (not seen as stink) we’ll all stay in the pink.
Carl Jung saw sagacity (elder psychology) as individuation: becoming whole and unique. In the afternoon we can’t live by morning’s programs: As we were achieving, now we turn inward lest the self be silenced and slighted by social slots. We wouldn’t grow old if age had no great significance to the race by speaking through dreams, visions and images--so whoever carries youth into old age fails. You can be ageless with fasting and God’s lemon and oil, but it’s spirituality which must take over when energy wanes and friends and family are lost (lest we waste our time telling tales). It’s the spiritual outlook cure—so make the grandkids call you ma’m, and sir. And never envy youth (the false lure) for despite the glorified image there is much trouble there (in this evil age impure). You are much better off here, in the radiant cosmic tour.
EIGHT TURNING POINTS
Growth or Stagnation
Erikson saw life as eight turning points—each turning good or bad depending on whether we pass or fail (grow or stagnate). In the final stage of ego integrity vs. despair, if sagacity (completion) is achieved physical decline stops. Like Gandhi who resembled a child when old, wisdom makes us agelessly bold. Wisdom says: "accept your only life as necessary--permitting no substitutions." This should remove all shame, doubt or pout for the very destiny that had to be. Acceptance without shame makes us handsome, ageless blueprints of God while shame and guilt makes us aging deformities—a clod.
It’s not that we get crazy or lazy but that the ageist culture has made our self-esteem about it hazy. Fairy tales give insight about natural human aging as they reflect all life phases: separating from parents, struggling for success, making commitments to spouse and career. These universal archetypes see old age as a time of transcending the world through self knowledge, not of "getting old". This insight made me bold for I had already left the fold but now I saw my journey as gold. Forget people (they're bought and sold)—just be happy in God's hold. At this stage the social world is mold but to God and true selfhood say “behold” in the greatest story ever told. Your new plan should be: detach and watch life unfold. Elder fairytales begin with the old man in barren isolation and misery. Then by miracle he is transformed by the mere acceptance of his losses--of family, friends and fun--while confronting his shadow (the dark side repressed since youth, the things he didn’t shun). In detaching (society) and facing (self) he gains “emancipated innocence" and comes together whole, an ageless child on whom God smiled. If in breaking with society you feel lonely just ask God for support (trust Him only, He’s no phony). Instantly, you’re in his court provided with fort (it’s like a resort). Through your problems He'll sort, and not just for sport--in all storms He's the port.
CHURCHISTS DON’T GO TO HEAVEN
Avoid the Leaven
Many people in the west dutifully go to church but don’t have a relationship with God. These types can be the meanest because of the cruelty as conflict resolution theory described earlier. These types are going to church for identity, business or social reasons alone yet don’t know the Man on the Throne. The conflict between their fake identity (as a “church-goer”) and their real identity—as a lost and dangerous person—is temporarily resolved by scapegoating, accusatory or manipulative tactics to those around them. This use of churchism for identity happens late in life—when they should be relaxing but instead end in strife. The conflict between a “Godly” identity but in truth the lost man is cruel and that’s the rule—the degree of disparity between real and false determines the intensity of the scapegoat reaction in the lost (the fool, the devil’s tool). You must now disengage from the phony stage and in old-age get to know God—you’re maker, you adjudicator, your provider, your vindicator and your escort to bliss after becoming the sage. For God has our entire destiny planned, and it’s not before old age (for many late-bloomer boomers) that they enter their Success So Grande. Until that time they were in preparation—and that life was bland (before they had command). Avoid the leaven to look forward to heaven. For the churchists can’t help you one bit, not even your best friend. Only a loving personal relationship with God-Almighty can put you on the mend.
THANATOS
Facing Death Brings Life
Knowing this, it’s the specter of death which deepens our appreciation of life so we can start harvesting: facing death brings joy. It turns mountains into bumps as old grudges we lump for nothing matters now: each day’s the last rump--the serious becoming silly is God’s final trump. Anxiety turns to awe and nature comes alive as facing death ends our days in zest and joy. While before we edited out reminders of age through frenetic activity, entertainment, conquests, surgery or obsession with youth now all that energy is released and an energetic ocean flows through body, mind and nervous system. My mother dying of cancer started to fast, her resentments and drinking (eating) life had passed—now she was having a blast. The future now irrevocably cast she could just ponder the view without remorse or fear at last. I remember it so well: I would give her guacamole in the morning [that's all she could eat--you might remember that] then she could comfortably fast and look at the mountains all day—and that was that. She had a difficult life—had gotten the axe—but now she could just relax, having faced the facts. By finally facing what usually depresses and terrifies we feel lighter, freer and more alive as the shift in attention sees each moment as precious: we accept ourselves without grasping for power, wealth or fame to feel confirmed. Then we see the immaturity of youth—so uncouth. Facing death brings humor, for what a relief transcending “the rumor”--the boring mundane material world of flesh and games and overnight gained-and-lost fames and flames. We come in and go out alone, so everyone is now irrelevant—a mere groan, it’s all been chewed to the bone.
FREUD ANNOYED
Death is the Mystic!
Freud saw two instincts driving the human experience: libido (life) and thanatos (death). Life is a ceaseless struggle between these two forces: libido surges with vitality seeking pleasure while thanatos longs for silence without striving or conflict. Libido yearns for sex and creative activity, thanatos drives for death and no activity. But Freud’s view ignores the spiritual-mystic trip—he sees thanatos (death) as the bleakest force in youth culture. It’s a serious split since our bodies know they are dying yet the culture abhors it. Society loves libido’s achievement yet panics at contraction, silence and inwardness--the domain of thanatos. Eldering work--the inner journey--embraces and ennobles the death instinct as a comfortable happy existence of mere contemplation and relaxation. It’s the messenger of transcendent love and wisdom—this is God. But how could a culture hating death and aging ever accept the inward life of the saint and the mystic in saging? It cannot. It makes it impossible.
Thanatos is the silent enlightenment of Hindus in samahi; Sufis in fana or Buddhists entering nirvana. These all seek quiescence to find uniqueness and completion. “Quiet” means detachment from the non-selective promiscuous social world to extreme selection in relationships and projects attuned to the true self: a time to rest and reflect, to act and decide, to become inspired, a time to create and be very careful in choosing associates (not less careful due to loneliness). Libido and thanatos are bipolar electrical forces with two settings: on/off, life/death, activity/rest. When young we make a mark on the world, when old we go inward. “Off” brings the completion and contemplation of energetic, attractive, glowing cheekbone-carved older specimens that youth loves, looks up to and likes to emulate. The ON is what makes us embarrassing caricatures—baby Janes bringing ridicule and rejection, plastic surgery’s election, the lost affection, a useless antique collection.
DEATH IS LIFE, LIFE IS DEATH
The Shift from Sex to Mentoring
Thanatos is the urge to cut it all loose and individuate in life’s second half. When we’re no longer conquering and expanding but inexorably contracting, self-preoccupation is our duty. We replace quality for quantity, depth for breadth. Viagra prevents this joyful inwardness, for in this phase libido should shift from sex to mentoring and leaving a legacy through writing, creating or teaching. We are now passing on fasting wisdom (less is more) not propagating the species (more is more). Libido’s instinct is to begin--experience and establish self-in-world—while ignoring all meaning and wisdom. As libido sows seeds, thanatos collects them as fruits to the harvest—attracting and arranging patterns of life’s meaning. What a synchronistic thrill, and to think I actually started this trip at 40 in total solitude (so still). It was so fascinating and cleansing I shut the world out—as I took the new route it lost it’s clout and that ended the pout (the tormenters were out).
I became a faster at 33 and that began the mystic trip for me. Because I entered thanatos early it meant completion of life’s work with decades left to enjoy the bounty coming from it (I was expanding hourly). Now I say to the boomers: When thanatos first appears we panic: exercising to compete with youth, redoubling work to prove our worth, having cosmetic surgery--anything but coming to terms with thanatos and destroying youth’s idols. When mid-life dissatisfaction appears, this is thanatos. Having no training for it we mistake the cue-to-completion as a call to death but the opposite is true: Thanatos marks the appearance of the enlightened self behind the social persona! If we accept it we simply start spending more good time with loved ones, take long walks in nature, play good music and just ponder while looking out the window to the mountain vistas and starlit skies at night. As for me, I’m looking forward—it ends the fight, solves the blight, means I’m finally right, and higher than a kite. Baby-boomers, unite!
THANATOS IS NEW LIFE
Home Life no Strife
The denial of death is a safety valve in youth as adrenaline triggers a fight-flight escape to save life at all costs, but it completely interferes with eldering when we need to calmly contemplate the joyful insights of thanatos. Only by facing age as part of this mystical journey can we find wisdom and courage—for in confronting death we gain a new orientation in life! Yes, this is the reward for acceptance that you’re moving towards the Lord. Purged of myopic self-interest we awake to the splendors of the moment and little things: flowers, birds, puppies, friends--we can now serve others. Having been liberated from youth-obsession we take on future-orientation. Now’s the time to discount the “old” image by showing the world our zest, joy, service and deep symbolic meaning to everything. I felt like I walked into a Maxfield Parrish painting or the Wizard of Oz—as every magical moment was colored by the past. This is the stage of coalescence: as everything learned to this point comes together like a jigsaw puzzle. Without being fear-led I’m hitting the nail on the head. Now free of dread I’m attracting the masses instead. I’m happy to help for I’m being led. That is mystical eldering—it’s finally being read. Having faced death, I’m ruddy with life (that’s red).
Heavenly holy home life is essential for happy eldering. I’ve learned to adore my solitary cabin life, free of strife. For only in my own home am I protected from the ignorance right outside the door. Inside my cozy cabin encamped in cleverness and creative action I am free of the silly and mean in this Godless era. Home life quiets ageist fears for if hooked to the herd one’s dignity is smeared. Stay with your own—that’s in your own domain, your home. It’s the attraction of destiny like Rome for free of panic, renewed energy pushes open the door to the happy “latter phase”. I’m so happy I’m half-crazed--look forward and you’ll be amazed but if part of the herd you’ll be hazed for the world’s full of cruel ageist idiots the devil raised!
COMING TO TERMS
WITH THE PAST
It took me decades to stop feeling guilty about something I couldn’t put my finger on—facing the past was hard as every morning I’d awake with a chip on my shoulder (more like a boulder) or extreme guilt (great tumult). This is the domain of eldering which brings such relief and joy. It’s facing death which dissolves the burden—for who cares now? Most of the judge-and-jury are dead and besides it was for me Christ was bled (to end this dread). I cannot describe the relief of escaping the energy thief, for proper (traditional) aging is feeling light and joyous as the past dissolves and the future opens. It’s so bright, I’m filled with might. But in order to enter this blissful inner sanctuary we must review the past in a healthy light, by recontextualizing failures into successes; releasing resentments and reconnecting to unlived life we sacrificed on the way.
LIFE REVIEW—“WHEW”
The main task of eldering is to reflect on the wealth of the past (harvesting). Once life review is set off we have a kaleidoscope of perceptions and revelations like bursts of exhilarated energy (like smelling the Silos on our uncle's farm when we were five.) These are lucid sights, sounds and smells that so enrich experience, for eldering is the wide-angled receptive mode (no more active tunnel-vision) and all the joys of relating to eternity: The phantasmagoria of our own rich history combined with sun-moon-stars. Getting older is a relief as we catch the energy thief and dissolve all the scars. The powerful divine forces were blocked with youth’s pursuits but now the flame (of accepted mortality) opens these fruits as the planets and hills are transformed in our eyes. The era of cold love is over: we’ve met our roots and gone are all disputes.
The Realized Elder Gives Spectacular Demonstrations then Just Gets Better. He’s closer to God (to the letter) because he’s removed the fetter.
